p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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