We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
