dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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