Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize