last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
