4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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