all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
