Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
