The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
