You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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