WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
