So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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