In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
