haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
