She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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