I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Randomize
