we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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