I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
