I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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