He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
