I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
