I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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