I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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