this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
