Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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