using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
