i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize