There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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