Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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