i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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