if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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