so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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