She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's blow job season.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
