ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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