you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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