I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
