I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
MIDGETS
????
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
