What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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