Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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