No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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