She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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