Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
