fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize