life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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