Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
