wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
