I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
