Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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