Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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