She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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