What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
