Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
