so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
