god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize