i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
