well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
did i walk over a car last night?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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