my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
