So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
from now on my penis is your penis
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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