he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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