1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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