So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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