everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
