Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
