my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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