He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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