Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
